HayWire

What a well-rounded game! Its not too difficult with the simple controls, and rather straightforward storyline, but these mind-blowing graphics that will have you wondering why Battlefield 1 looked like a crapstorm. This game also has above-average writing with an eerie backstory, and let me just say the astounding narrator for this game gave such a grand performance I was sure it was Morgan Freeman, but the credits proved me wrong. 

The particle effects for this game are jaw-dropping, to say the least. The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device cameo along with other references make this game seem well-informed with society rather then being this black hole that sort of sucks the joy and nostalgia out of every person who was willing to spend 60 dollars on your game, you know? Like when you hype up your customers expectations with a sequel but it just ends up being this dumpster fire that is comparable to Atari's E.T.? Its so good to see a game that avoids these hurdles.

I'm hoping this game gets some good DLC, I'm willing to drop $30.00 for a different color robot. Also, who knows, maybe a few sequels? Prequels? 6 feature films? A cashgrab TV show run by Apple TV that instead of focusing on the story and characters just ends up being a 8-hour political advertisement for Mexican drug trafficking and women's rights?

Another thing that really blew me away with this game has got to be that flawless walking animation for the main character. I have personally spent 69 minutes walking back and forth and I've come to the conclusion that it is mentally impossible to even imagine a more perfect walking animation. Give the man who designed this animation a raise!

An aspect I found familiar but still original is where you proceed from chamber to chamber gradually increasing in difficulty. You guys should lower the difficulty on the GLaDos boss fight though, I must have spent 420 minutes trying to get Wheatley into the Aperture Science Core Transfer Hatch for the Aperture Science Core Transfer and then initiate Stalemate Resolution Annex. A very impressive boss fight with amazing VFX and SFX but otherwise it could be a little easier for the less experienced players, if you get my drift.

As for the characters, man, I've never seen such amazing performances! Danny Devito as himself did an astounding job (as always), and Clancy Brown's performance also really stood out to me. 

Overall Ratings on Aspects of this game:

• Graphics: 10/10
• Story: 10/10
• SFX: 11/10
• Music: 42069/10 (How did you guys get Mike Morasky for this)
• Gameplay: 10/10
• Multiplayer: 10/10
• Community: 5/10 (this needs some work, I'm tired of all these tryhards who think they can just get into the elevator before I can)
• Violence: 46,853/10 (This will 100% turn all kids who play it into serial killers)
• Guns: 10/10 (Very wide choice of firearms in this game)
• Drugs: 9/10 (Not enough Ketamine or Aspirin)

After having 12 mental breakdowns, 7 strokes, an undetermined amount of heart attacks, molecular rearrangements and other mental disabilities I have come to the conclusion that this game is the product of the collective greatest minds of a generation, who put together the best fricking game of the year, no, of all time. 

Shrek Approved!

I have compiled a video that details my full critique of this outstanding game, which you can view here.

Very Cool

Wow, the player controls, the particle effects, and the turret are all really good! I would be disappointed and utterly shocked if this doesn't win Game of the Year. 

Best Game Ever

That Narrator sounds very cool